"When mind is in turmoil and
emotions are mixed, words flow themselves in to sentences and sentences in to
paragraphs and paragraphs in to essays."
Just started to write something about my identity as a Telangaanite and the words started flowing. It’s not about a separate state but a separate recognized
identity. Every body can understand who backed up the agitation and who spoiled the public life in Hyderabad and Telangaana region. First I want to clear that its not my concern here.
When I left Telangaana I felt that
I lost my identity (I didn’t find what it is meant to me). When somebody asks
me are you from Andhra? I get a sudden anger and uneasy feeling. Yes. Because I
never identified that I am from Andhra because Andhra word become only synonym
for Seemandhra rather than Andhra Pradesh. That’s why whenever someone asks
this question I say from Hyderabad (As its part of Telangaana region basically).
I think this is the main reason
why so many people from Telangaana don’t like to migrate or look jobs somewhere
else than most of Seemandhra people. Seemandhra people mostly interested in accumulation
of wealth whether they stay at one place or migrating to some other place for
living and earning for their life as they are (Its only my observation). If Telangaana people are going
somewhere for some time they definitely feel this sensation in their heart that
they leaving their life. It’s a feeling that they will never able to identify
their native place if returned and fear that all new faces of Seemandhra people
replacing their old identity and culture. This type of cultural and linguistic and cultural dominance (even its Telugu, the accents in it) is never acceptable to us Telangaanites
in mind and word.
I am in confusion at certain
times regarding this identity crisis. For so many years we Telengaanites don't able to know the real history of Telangana and its culture which was, is still dominated by the so called leaders and Governements run by Seemandhra politicians and Chief Ministers who developed the major share for the Seemandhra culture and their festivals and their Capitalists. I never saw a Telangaana Festival in my school calender and also about the People who fought for our own existence in Nizam's rule. I never read an essay or some other thing and about the History of Nizam's Rule of suppression of whole erstwhile Hyderabad state people of that time. These things only I came to know and read when the agitation started again for re-existence of old statehood.
But something came as a surprise when Mrs. Kavita Kalvakuntla started the Telangaana Jaagruti, so many Telangaanites found the identity of their own culture and started to unite as one. For that reason
or the other Telangana people are somewhat little bit indebted to Prof. Jayshankar sir (His soul rests in peace) and little to Mr. KCR’s family. Someone may not
agree with me (regarding KCR's share) in this regard but it looks correct to me in personal belief.
The straight forwardness and the sharpness
in our accent is always looks like a uncivilzed thing to most of Seemandhra
people as they themselves say that they are fully civilized (under the british
rule where they learnt their British type of diplomacy and their best expertise
in English). But most of the Telanganites don’t know this type of diplomacy and
cunning ness and they say whatever comes to their mind without hiding. (Even
though there are some exceptions to this, the exceptions are who learnt this
from the Seemandhra people and some in born).
Still I like the way we Telanganites,
own a new person/people visiting or coming in to the place or region with this
type of straightness and kindness which is always a jealous feeling for some Seemandhra
people. I remember some such occasions like this with my Seemandhra friends
where I am intimidated as a low level civilian (Just think, they are not the average
Seeamandhra people). Its childlike behaviour I observed with them when it comes
to identity. I am not a good debater so I keep calm in such situations observing
the show. I did not see any humiliation by Tangaana people but as I see this in case of Seemandhra people (You may object that I am a Telanganite and I backup only our region. May be this is true to only to very little extent. You can observe yourself.)
I wanted discuss so many other things likely lively hood etc. but to due lack of time leaving at this point.
